Using Simple Scriptures to Cultivate Gratitude

Recently, the biggest issue we have been addressing with our children is a rather alarming absence of gratitude. As they enter the “tween” years (10 and 12, respectively), there is a strong sense of entitlement subtly but surely raising its ugly heads in their hearts. Just this past evening at a community party my daughter was distraught that she was “only” allowed to have two slices of pizza, two sugary drinks, a bag of chips, and two pieces of a cookie cake with icing. According to her, our choice to set such gross unreasonable limits bordered on cruelty!

Perhaps there are other dads reading this that can identify with my current angst over this recent development. Our children are sinners and naturally live to please themselves. So things like satisfaction in and gratefulness for what they do have is far outshined by what they want that is just out of reach or what has been withheld from them. We’re about to enter a time of year when this issue is even more prevalent in our children’s hearts than usual. Of course, the most unpleasant aspect of all of this for me as their dad is that their ingratitude reminds me of my own! I’m just better at hiding it.

The Thanksgiving season gives us a wonderful opportunity as parents to reinforce the centrality and importance of thanksgiving in the heart and life of a follower of Jesus, no matter his or her age. Thanksgiving isn’t merely a holiday or something we focus on temporarily; it is a way of life for those who have been redeemed. I am determined this month to make the giving of thanks a regular topic of conversation amongst us as a family. While there are many practical and creative ways to instigate that (another topic for another article someday), I’d like to turn our attention to the most foundational and effective tool we as dads can utilize to cultivate thanksgiving in our homes–the Word of God.

I’d like to highlight five simple passages from Scripture that we as dads can teach our children this month. It’s true that simply “throwing Bible verses” at a heart problem is an incomplete way to address sin struggles in the hearts of our children. “God says this, so shape up!” I am not recommending that oversimplified approach. But the truths of God’s Word are where we need to start.

This is by no means an exhaustive list of effective passages to cultivate gratitude, so at the end I’ve included a few additional passages to consider. I would encourage you to read, discuss, meditate on, memorize, and even pray through them as a family. Each one contains a simple truth about thankfulness to drive home to our children–and to us!

Colossians 2:7 - Thanksgiving is what God’s people do!

Paul is making a clear point in this verse. Those who have received the gift of salvation in Christ through faith will have certain characteristics. A walk in Christ flows out of faith in Christ. You can’t have one without the other. It’s stated as a command but also as a reasonable expectation: “If you’re saved, you’ll want to live like it!” And one of the characteristics of that life is that a believer is “abounding in thanksgiving.”

Discuss the meaning of “abounding” with your children. A beautiful meadow abounds with wildflowers. Zoos abound with animals. Lucky Charms abounds with yummy marshmallows! To abound means that something is abundantly pleasant or filled to the brim. That is how much our lives should be filled with thanksgiving.

It is also important to discuss why we can and should be so grateful. Walk through the gospel story with your kids in detail, showing all that God in Christ has done for us! How could gratitude not be a hallmark of even the youngest believer after all that?!

Romans 1:21-23 - Thanksgiving is what those who are rejecting God DON’T do.

This verse reinforces the first one above by emphasizing the opposite point. Romans 1 is a sobering passage where God describes those who have rejected him and lays out all the foolish things they do as a result. Rebellion in the heart refuses to acknowledge God or give him honor. Even our younger children can understand that concept.

But that little phrase in the middle of verse 21 gives us pause: “they did not give honor to God or give thanks to him”. A refusal to give thanks to God is a sign of a heart that refuses to give honor to him or acknowledge him as the one in charge.

An unthankful heart is one of the early tell-tale signs of rebellion against God. He has done so much for us and deserves our gratitude; when we choose to withhold that we are pretending that we don’t need him and revealing we don’t want him. A quick read through of the rest of this passage shows us where a heart like that ends up without change–it’s not pretty. Choose thanksgiving because it’s what believers do and because the alternative is scary!

1 Thessalonians 5:18 - There’s never a time not to give thanks!

Can this verse really be true? Can we really give thanks always in all situations? Yes! Ephesians 5:20 and Colossians 3:17 reinforce this truth, too. Remind your children that even hard things are designed by God to help us know him better (2 Cor. 12:9) and produce growth in us (James 1:2-4). Through every situation, even ones we would not have chosen, our God promises that his love, help, grace, presence, and protection are there in abundance! Thank your God for everything because it comes from his hand, and what comes from him is good (James 1:17).

Scary situations, sad situations, situations in which we don’t get what we want, and situations where our plans change are all opportunities to give thanks–not because we’re happy or because things are easy but because my loving God has something good he’s doing. By the way, this is one choice that dads and moms must model, too, because there’s no way our children will believe this for themselves if they see that their parents don’t believe it!

Philippians 4:6-7 - Replace your worry and fear with thanksgiving!

Children are naturally fearful. While worrying gets more complex (and often more excused) in us as adults, it is often very much present and very strong in our children’s hearts. Instead of worry, Paul encourages God’s people to pray–to take our concerns directly to our loving God rather than letting them bounce around uncontrolled in our heads so they become unassailable monsters. Colossians 4:2 teaches the same thing.

I love this verse because it doesn’t just tell us not to be anxious, but it gives us an effective replacement for it every time–thanksgiving! Paul doesn’t just say to pray, he gives us some ideas of how to pray. And one of those categories is giving thanks. When our focus is on all the wonderful and good gifts we have from God, our focus won’t be on the uncertainties or the things that concern us. In fact, this passage connects well with the previous one, too! Thankful prayers can help even the youngest minds be disciplined to trust that everything God is doing and leading us through is best for us. Truly, giving thanks is beneficial to us all!

Colossians 3:14-15 - Those who are thankful to God are also thankful to others.

But our thanksgiving isn’t just something we direct to God. Thankful people will show that gratitude to others, too! When the peace of Christ rules in the heart of a believer, no matter how young, they will show that thankfulness to others. Expressing gratefulness to others is not simply good manners; it’s a fruit present in the life of a growing Christian!

When we ponder the love and goodness of our God to us, that produces love and goodness to others. God’s love and goodness motivate thanks to him, and the love and goodness expressed by others for our benefit motivate our thanks in the same way. The best way to help your children grow in their gratitude to grandparents, pastors, church members, neighbors, doctors and nurses, grocery store workers, coaches and anyone else is to continue to cultivate an appreciation for God’s love and goodness.

There are so many other portions of God’s Word to which we can point our families as we cultivate thanksgiving. Moses led Israel in thanksgiving for his deliverance at the Red Sea (Exodus 15), picturing our own deliverance from our bondage to sin. Psalm 100 and Psalms 69:30 show us that when we worship we are giving thanks. Psalm after psalm calls on God’s people to give thanks to the Lord for his goodness and love (Psalm 107:1; 118:1; 136:1). David reiterated that as he led the Israelites in worship in 1 Chronicles 16:34. The story of Christ and the ten lepers teaches the right response to the love of Jesus.¹ We will never exhaust the extent to which the Bible calls us to overflowing and constant gratitude.

God’s Word gives us the command to give thanks, examples of giving thanks, reasons to give thanks, plenty of motivation to give thanks, and the benefits of giving thanks. I’d highly encourage you to take your children to the Scriptures this Thanksgiving season to show them all of that–and to lead them in the marvelous, peace-giving, fulfilling, and God-glorifying exercise of gratitude. I plan to!