The Greatest Gift My Father Gave Me

One of the greatest gifts my father ever gave me was the treasure of Proverbs. He challenged my older brother and I to read the book ten times over the summer and be ready to discuss it when school started up again, which would’ve been my brother’s junior and my sophomore year of high school. The words of wisdom and warnings of folly regularly ring in my heart because of my father’s intentional wisdom to immerse us in the book.

Proverbs helpfully addresses significant specific topics, true friendship, hard work, the pursuit of a spouse, wise speech, foolish sexuality, and beyond. It’s immensely practical and life-giving but foreboding and enigmatic. Yet in its most basic form, it’s a parenting book, and even more specifically, it’s a book on fatherhood. It is powerful paternal poetry.

The phrase “my son” or a similar phrase appears approximately 25 times in the book. The paternal instruction is primarily given by Solomon, but not exclusively. The book aims to make little children into wise adults. We should live in this book, for by it, our children may live.

Important Clarification

Bear in mind this is wisdom literature not didactic doctrine. Therefore, we should read Proverbs as probabilities not promises. This doesn’t mean Proverbs is a lesser tier of Scripture, merely different in genre and intent.

I have been asked, usually related to the discipline passages (Prov. 13:24; 22:15; 29:15 eg.), if this doesn’t guarantee success, is applying Proverbs necessary or even relevant? Counter question, if this is God’s wisdom to you, why would you want to do it any other way? If this is God’s wisdom to us it is our folly to reject it.

Instructional Parents

Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching, (Proverbs 1:8)

Note the roles in the verse. The son is the listener and mom and dad are apparently giving instruction worthy of attention. This means fundamentally that a wise home is characterized by teachable children and teaching parents.

Let’s talk teaching. Are you teaching your little ones, or merely telling? Teaching here involves the why and basis for the wisdom (note the preceding verses 1-7). Telling is concerned with the command and result, but teaching is concerned with the command and motivation. Wise parents are teaching parents.

How then do we teach this wisdom? To teach the wisdom of God we must teach them the Word of God.

Can I give you two categories for teaching the Word in your home? In your teaching be:

1. Organized: This means you have a relatively consistent time of family worship or Biblical teaching time in the life and schedule of your home.
2. Organic: This is working the Scriptures into everyday life and mundane situations.

Family worship (organized teaching) is one of the highs of our home. We have it around the breakfast table and throughout the week we memorize Scripture, sing, or laugh at my terrible theological artwork. For family worship remember three “R’s.” Keep it relaxed. Stay lighthearted and try to make it fun. Keep it repeatable. Do something easy for your schedule. And keep it realistic. A thirty-minute exposition is not the goal. Bear in mind your children’s understanding and everyone’s patience. If you read one verse a day and pray, praise God!

Organic Bible teaching is naturally infusing the Word into mundane moments. Instead of saying “hey stop fighting!” it’s “no murmuring or disputing” (Php. 2:14-15). When our children inevitably fight over the same toy, try “are you considering the other more important than yourself right now?” (Php. 2:4-5) rather than “who had it first?” Or you can build biblical principles into the language of your home. Rather than quoting Ephesians 6:1-2 to our kids (though we do sometimes) we say, or make them say, “obedience is right and obedience is safe.” Use Biblical language in normal communication.

To be a parent is to be a teacher. Have times of both organized and organic Biblical learning in your home. This isn’t novel stuff, but simple steps in accomplishing a miraculous source in the life of our children, cultivating the Word of God to keep them walking in the wisdom of God.

Beautiful Children

for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck. (Proverbs 1:9)

There are several ideas about the images here of “garland” and “pendant.” I’ll give two views. First, the idea is that God’s wisdom produces children who are lovely in character and attractive in nature like jewelry is lovely on the body. In other words God’s wisdom makes beautiful little ones. Of this there is no doubt. We have all been around children who are ugly in nature. They uglify the tone, the room, and the moods of everyone around them. Contrast this with a child who smiles, looks adults in the eyes, and generally does what is told. It is a beautiful sight.

Another idea is that the garland and the pendant correspond to the teaching given in verse 8. The garland is instructing the mind as it is an ornament of the head, and the pendant is near the heart, therefore it’s more appealing to the heart. What a sweet concept, that Biblical wisdom both informs the mind and affects the heart.

I believe the poetry allows both as valid applications of the verse, for both are certainly true. When God’s wisdom is taught it grows a child intellectually, moves the child affectionately, and beautifies the child spiritually.

Teaching the wisdom of God to your children will transform them into the likeness of the most beautiful Son, the wisdom of God made flesh (1 Cor. 1:24). If we want the beauty of Jesus in our home we must instruct God’s wisdom in order to be transformed into the Wisdom of God.

I told you of my father’s love and wisdom in teaching these treasures of the Word. This teaching never leaves us. Proverbs 1:8-9 is the first passage I taught my little boy. He was one-and-a-half when he learned it. If you want your child’s heart, teach them, and share with them yours (Prov. 23:26).

May God strengthen us to instruct, that our little ones learn the way of wisdom, and that by it they may live.