Talking With Your Child About Death

Recently, our family dealt with a difficult situation that many other families have had to deal with. We said goodbye to a beloved pet. Our 3-year-old German Shepherd became gravely ill and the treatment was both cost-prohibitive and uncertain. The veterinarian informed me that it was very likely that our dog would continue to deteriorate and in a few days would come to the end of his life. We made the decision as a family to say goodbye and bring his life to an end in a way that was peaceful.

This decision was particularly difficult for a number of reasons. First, the dog was relatively young. No one expects to lose their 3-year-old dog. Second, this illness seemed to present itself with no warning. Third, my children are young but they are all old enough to have developed a meaningful bond with our pet. My oldest daughter had an especially difficult time due to the fact that she had the closest relationship with him of all the children.

Seizing the Opportunity

These occasions present an opportunity for the Father of the home. How will we handle this situation? Will we casually brush off the death of the family dog because we are trying to be tough? Rather than trying to be stoic and cold, perhaps allowing grief and sorrow to come to the surface provides a better opportunity to guide our children to God’s Word.

One of the great blessings of the Christian life is the confidence that we have in God’s precious promises (2 Peter 1:2-4). On the evening that we received the sad news, we took the opportunity to sit down together as a family and cry together. We then reminded ourselves of some important biblical truths.

Important Biblical Reminders

First, sin brings death. God makes this point in His Word in a number of places but one text that stands out in the Old Testament is Exodus 12. This passage details the institution of the first Passover. Perhaps you know the account already. God was dealing with the Egyptians via 10 plagues. The tenth judgment was far more severe than those that came before it. God provided instructions for His people.

The Passover animal was to be a male yearling, either a goat or a sheep (12:5). There was to be one sacrificial animal per home unless the family was too small to eat one. If this was the case, two families could share one (12:4). There should be enough meat for each person to be adequately supplied. The blood of the sacrifice was to be put on the door frames where the animal was to be eaten (12:7). This blood was to serve as a sign, which would protect the Israelites from the death angel (12:13, 23).

It is vital to instill this critical component of biblical theology into your children. The world has no sufficient rationale for the reality of suffering. The Bible provides the answer to this critical question. Further, the Bible points us to the solution.

Once again, Exodus 12 is helpful. You see, Exodus 12 and the institution of the Passover Feast picture the later, perfect sacrifice of Jesus. Thus we find in Exodus 12 a second key truth. Jesus is the Lamb of God who died for our sin. There are several similarities between the Passover lamb and the Lamb of God, the Lord Jesus Christ. The sacrificial lamb was to be without defect (Exod. 12:5), just as the Lord Jesus was without blemish (1 Peter 1:19). It was the shed blood of the lamb which saved Israel’s firstborn from the plague (Exod. 12:12-13, 22-23), just as it is the shed blood of the Lamb of God which saves men from the judgment of God (1 Peter 1:18-19; Rev. 5:9).

As there was to be no bone broken of the Passover lamb (Exod. 12:46), so no bone of our Lord was broken (John 19:32-36). Thus, the Old Testament prophet, Isaiah, could speak of Israel’s Savior as a lamb: All we like sheep have gone astray; We have turned, every one, to his own way; And the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all. 7 He was oppressed and He was afflicted, Yet He opened not His mouth; He was led as a lamb to the slaughter, And as a sheep before its shearers is silent, So He opened not His mouth. (Isa. 53:6-7).

The third and final truth that I shared with my children that evening was this - Jesus’ death and resurrection defeated sin and death. Hear the Word of God concerning this - Romans 5:21 states, “So that as sin reigned in death, even so grace might reign through righteousness to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” Consider also 1 Corinthians 15:3 and 20–22

“For I delivered to you first of all that which I also received: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures” “But now Christ is risen from the dead, and has become the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep. 21 For since by man came death, by Man also came the resurrection of the dead. 22 For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ all shall be made alive.” These great truths then lead Paul to say, “‘O Death, where is your sting? O Hades, where is your victory?’ 56 The sting of death is sin, and the strength of sin is the law. 57 But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”

Concluding Thoughts

Sin and death are still present in this world. Pray for God to help you see these realities as opportunities to speak with your children about sin and death. Don’t try to shield them from these truths. Rather, point them to the greater truth of Jesus and His victory over sin and death.

Father, thank you for the hope that comes through Christ. Thank you that your children can look beyond death to a life with you. Thank you that Jesus Christ died in order to forever deal with the problem of sin.