How to Help Your Children Love Reading

A few months ago, a parent wrote to me lamenting that his/her child does not like to read. The parent asked for tips to encourage reading. This email made me reflect upon my own journey. Our children did not always enjoy reading either. It has been a challenge for us as well. We made some mistakes and learned some lessons along the way. Some of our children still are not avid readers. At least not yet. Here are a few tips that have helped us to encourage the life of the mind in our home.

Don’t Start too Soon

I always wanted my children to read while they were young. When my oldest was four years old, I bought Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons and began working through the lessons. Fail!

I am not judging the curriculum; it came recommended by a friend and it worked for them. My son wasn’t ready. Some children are ready to read at the age of four, but our son was not. I learned years later that most children hate reading because they are forced to read before they are developmentally ready. Our oldest did not take to reading until he was 10+. Now he loves reading and reads prolifically without asking. Getting to that point, however, was a bit bumpy. The first lesson I learned was to not start too early.

Read to Your Children

I remember talking to an extended family member who mentioned reading stories to their children. I thought, “I don’t read to my children.” So I started. I don’t remember the first book that we read, but I have read The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings, and The Wingfeather Saga, among others, to our children.

Children are used to enjoying stories which they can see (e.g., videos). They have to learn to enjoy stories that they can imagine. I go through seasons of reading stories and listening to stories with my children. Sometimes it is easier to listen to an audiobook while driving to a destination or working on a project. This has a similar effect, but when you read to your children, you also tell your children that you value it. So, pick up a volume and read to your children.

The Goal

Often, parents want their children to read, but they misunderstand the goal. The goal isn’t to get the child to read, the goal is to get the child to want to read. If the child wants to read then the child will read. This principle applies to the Christian life as well. God doesn’t want you to simply obey His law, he wants you to love Him. If you love Him, then you will obey His law (Deut 6:1–9).

We do the things that we love. When we love the wrong things, then we do the wrong things. Affections require training. You are training your child’s affections so that they want to read. Our children often mirror ourselves. Do you like to read? If you don’t like to read, neither will your children. You may need to cultivate this desire to read yourself.

Be honest and tell your children, “We need to be a family who enjoys reading, and that starts with me.” Then tell them some changes that will apply not only to the children, but even to yourself. And when you really don’t want to read, that is the most important time to read. Because by reading when you really don’t want to, you train your affections to love what is right (Prov 4:23).

Training Your Affections

I could feel the tension around the dinner table as I approached our children. They were doing their homework and they hated it. I knew something had to change. Proverbs 1:7 states, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” The child who despises school is on the path of folly. My children hated school which meant they were on the wrong path. How can I direct them onto the correct path?

We made several changes, one of which was a curriculum change. I am not going to get into that decision here, but it was a good move for our family. Second, we created set times when our children had to read. The most regular reading time was Sunday afternoons. Screens were off and they had a quiet time when they could read or sleep. Most of them chose to read. Third, we went to the bookstore and I bought them a volume that interested them. This investment gave them not just a new book, but ownership in reading as well. By having a required reading time and interest in the topic at hand, our children began to enjoy reading (and school).

For a season we gave financial rewards to our children for reading books. A few dollars can go a long way in the life of a child. This isn’t the best motivation, but I believe it can be used to legitimately encourage some children who are particularly dismissive of reading. Your real goal, however, is to cultivate their affections for reading.

Conclusion

Remember the bigger picture. The final goal is not just reading any book; you want your child to enjoy reading the Bible. Read the Bible to your children. Much of the Bible contains stories. Read the stories to them. Let the children read the Bible during a family worship time. Cultivate in them a love, not only for reading, but for reading the Bible.

Teach your children who the Lord is using words (e.g., imagination) not images (e.g., videos, etc.). The Christian God is a God of words, so as Christians, we should love words just like our God revealed Himself through words.