Five Biblical Helps for Exhausted Dads

Have you noticed that parenting is hard?

There are late nights and early mornings. There are disagreements between you and your spouse about how to do this whole parenting thing. There are sick kids and unexpected bills to pay. There are friends who wish you could hang out more. There are church responsibilities and work responsibilities and that broken drawer that you really should have fixed last week.

If you are anything like me there have been days, you were tempted to quit. You have held a newborn late at night wondering if you can handle one more night without sleep. You have looked at your wife and seen the same worn out look mirrored in her own eyes. If you are like me, you have gotten shamefully close to quitting so you pulled out your Bible to read what God had to say and found these verses:

“Let us not lose heart in doing good…” (Galatians 6:9)

“…be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord…” (1 Corinthians 15:58)

“If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small.” (Proverbs 24:10)

Maybe, like me, these verses did not give you much hope. Maybe it felt like all you found was callous indifference and a sprinkling of guilt to go with it. Reading verses like these can cause frustration rather than hope. How are you supposed to endure when you are overwhelmed? How are you supposed to do what God says when doing what God says seems impossible?

Those three verses make it clear that God puts a premium on endurance, but without the rest of Scripture we are left with the insurmountable task of enduring the problems and pains of life without help or hope. There is, however, help. There is hope.

Here are five helps from Scripture that give you the strength to endure and hope in your hardships.

1. Recognize the benefits of hardship.

One of God’s mechanisms for growing you is hardship. In James 1:2-4, we are told to, “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” Trials have real spiritual benefits. Don’t run from them; have the right perspective of them.

2. Share your burdens and bear each other’s burdens.

God did not design you to handle life’s hardships on your own. In Galatians 6:2, we are told to “Bear one another’s burdens.” This implies that we, also, need to share our burdens. Sometimes as dads, we become chronic burden bearers who refuse (or forget) to share our burdens with others. Just remember that ‘bearing without sharing’ burns you out and ‘sharing without bearing’ burns others out. We have to do both!

Quit trying to handle life on your own and you might find yourself farther from quitting.

3. Identify and remove sin from your life.

Not all emotional distress is caused by sin, but all sin causes emotional distress. Lamentations 1:20 says, “I am in distress; My spirit is greatly troubled; My heart is overturned within me, for I have been very rebellious.” Your sin will cause you emotional distress. What does God say is the solution in Hebrews 12:1?

“Let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.”

Quit running the race of life with barbells of sin in your hands. It will distress and demotivate you. Stop for a moment and evaluate your choices over the past week. What do you need to lay aside?

4. Ask for strength from the source of strength.

Doing life without depending on God is a recipe for disaster. Hebrews 4:16 says “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

Psalm 73:26 says, “My flesh and my heart may fail, But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Prayer for God’s help should be a regular part of your parenting. You do not need to pray long prayers or perfectly phrased prayers. You can pray short prayers, messy prayers, long prayers, even confused prayers. God just wants you to express your dependence on Him!

Not convinced? Check out 1 Chronicles 16:11, Psalm 50:12, Isaiah 40:28-29, and 2 Corinthians 12:9.

5. Focus on eternity.

There is more to life than just today. We are encouraged in Galatians 6:9 to “not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.” In 2 Corinthians 4:16-17, Paul tells us to, “not lose heart…For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison.”

Look past the hardships of today. Look towards your own eternal destination. Look towards your child’s eternal destination and remind yourself that parenting God’s way is worth it.

Your feelings might say something different, but let your faith instruct your feelings and trust that “the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us” (Romans 8:18).

It is this eternal perspective that reminds you while holding a crying baby that you are holding, with God’s help, the hope of the next generation in your hands.

Conclusion

Parenting is hard. Newborns cry. Toddlers disobey. Messes happen. Spouses disagree. Sickness derails. Teenagers argue. Calendars fill. People judge. Emotions spiral. Toilets overflow. Diapers blow out. Laundry piles. Drawers break.

But…

…there is hope. Your endurance is not proportionate to your physical strength or mental toughness. Endurance springs from trusting God’s perfect plan and using the resources He has given you to thrive in the midst of hard. Share your hard with God and others, lay aside sin, be eternally minded, and you will find hope in hardship.